Hello! I often get asked questions about Republican policy by greasy-haired liberal hippies. Seattle was no exception in Sept of 2005. It was teeming with them. May God bless you and America.
As CEO of Ohio Petroleum and Synthetics, I guided the stock to an all-time high before I left. It wasn’t easy to leave, but based on the advice of my wife, my children and the FBI, I knew it was time to go. When my golden parachute landed, I had quadrupled the share price.
Do I regret secretly dumping in the Ohio river? No sir. May I remind you there was a drought and I was merely “contributing” in an attempt to raise water levels, and didn’t want to call attention to my patriotism. Jesus wouldn’t have. This act of charity was spun by the liberal media and the hysterical mothers of some very, very, slightly deformed children.
Is it a spoof? The video on the site makes me think that it must be because he’s so blunt, but you never know. I really hope so because if it’s not, it’s so wrong…
I’m sorry, all I can think of is “Hey! I’ve worn my hair long many times in my life and I always washed it almost every day!” And still got no respect from Republicans….
This has to be a spoof, because no real Republican would ever be so refreshingly honest about himself. ;p
That’s it though. He’s so hilarious because it’s what you’re instinctively thinking that all the evangelical-Christian Republicans are thinking when they give nice even, moderate answers. Occasionally I just want them to scream out: “The tax cuts are because I hate poor people!” …or something.
It’d be better than the oh-so-false moderation Americans get now!
I really wanted to believe this guy was the real deal, but some research proved out that there was no Representative from Ohio in the US House named ‘Richard Martin’.
Further research revealed that he’s this guy:
http://www.comedycentral.com/comedians/browse/g/paul_gilmartin.jhtml
Darn. I was kind of hoping he was legit just because it’d be so outrageous. I mean, obviously he can’t be because the GOP would jump on his ass faster than a drag queen in a twink bar, but there’s the thing in the back of your mind where you just wish it weren’t an act.
Thanks for the video link too. That’s great to see!
But it isn’t an act! It’s the guys on the floor of the Senate who’re putting on the show. Richard Martin only reveals their innermost selves for public display… ;p